Despair

I've been carrying this pain for so long that I should be used to it by now, but then again... when the night comes and I'm all alone, I let myself drowning into my deepest thoughts. Why does it hurt so much? Why do I feel like I'm going to explode...? Is it because I'm not good enough? Because I can't do a single thing well done? Even if everyone tells you that you are amazing, that you were born with a gift...Why does it seems like nothing goes well? Like my world is falling apart... Like I have no escape of myself...